Husband & Wife Duties and Sayings

Sayings For Husband	Sayings For Wife
The Holy Qur’an says: “The women have almost the same rights over men as men have certain rights over the women in kindness.”	The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)
Prophet (S.A.W) said: “Best among you are those who behave well with their women.”	Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)
Prophet (S.A.W) said: “I make a Will to you about the women, so obey my will.”	The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her. These are: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is taahirah; not praying; and going out of the house without his permission.
Prophet (S.A.W) said: “No believing man should have enmity and hatred against a believing woman. If he dislikes certain habits of that woman, there would certainly be some virtues in her too.”	Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."
Holy Qur’an says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.”
Messenger of Allah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: “Nobody should beat up his wife as he does beat up his slave. He should make love with her later some time.”
The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation. -Allah says “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4] - The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending. - Accommodation. This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats badly those under his authority will not enter Paradise."

What Husband Must Do	What Wife Must Do
Provide wife with adequate food, a comfortable home, suitable clothes and other basic amenities of life. He should always bear in mind that this woman has disassociated herself from her parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends and has joined him to share all the ups and downs of life. Hence, it has become his duty to look after her basic needs and comforts	The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
The husband should satisfy his wife’s physical needs. The Sharee’ah has not prescribed any limit for this. But, he has to ensure that woman’s minimum sexual requirements are met so that she may not commit a sin by eyeing other men in order to quench her thirst. There are certain men who, after marriage, do not take care of the sexual needs of their wives. Such people are great sinners and will be severely convicted in the Court of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala.	Making herself available to her husband. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her. If he marries a woman, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary
the wife and the husband should take care of each other’s sentiments and emotions. The anger of husband brings to the wife nothing but tension, depression and confusion	Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.
husband should never appreciate the beauty and other merits of strange woman in front of his wife. This may lead to create jealousy and suspicion in the mind of his wife. She would think that her husband has some illicit relations with that woman. This thought is a poison that kills matrimonial relations. If a man cannot tolerate that his wife should wrongly be associated with another man, the wife also cannot tolerate another woman to share her husband.	Not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission. One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.
Man is, undoubtedly, made a ruler over the woman but it does not mean that he should ask her to do a work, which is beyond her capacity, or a work which she would not like to do. If the husband still insists his wife to do the work against her will, she would accomplish that job unwillingly and this would create a sort of disgust against her husband, which would ultimately mar their matrimonial life	The wife serving her husband.
The husband, while setting out on a tour, should go to his wife and informally seek her consent in a loving manner and as a matter of goodwill. While returning from the tour he should bring some exclusive gifts for her. This gesture would encourage the wife to think with satisfaction that my husband loves me to the extent that even if he was away engaged in his business activities, he remembered me. Thus, a simple initiative on the part of the husband will win over the heart of his wife.	The wife should treat her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
If the woman brings anything from her father’s house or prepares herself and presents it to the husband, he should express gratitude and appreciate it. This will please her. The husband should never reject or discard or criticize any gift offered by his wife.	To forgive each other’s small mistakes.
If the wife falls sick, the husband should dedicatedly look after her. He should take extra pain in her nursing, feeding, etc. This little service will win over the heart of the wife and she will be very grateful to the husband.	To provide emotional support in both happiness and sadness
The husband should express his full confidence and trust in his wife and, to prove this, he should hand over the domain of the house to her so that she may feel dignified and involved.	To offer each other wholesome advice concerning obedience to Allah.
The husband should never share the secrets of her wife with others. Sayyiduna Rasoolullah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: “Worst is the person in the sight of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala who goes to his wife and then discloses her secrets and lowers her status in the eyes of others”.	To keep each other’s secrets. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says: “The people of the worst stature with Allah on the Day of Judgment are men who confide in their wives, and wives who confide in their husbands, and then they spread each other’s secrets around.” [Sahîh Muslim]
The husband should be neat and clean as he expects the same from his wife. He should look smart, dynamic and a loveable person.
The husband should not level charges of corrupt practices against his wife without going into the depth of the matter. The relationship between a husband and a wife is based purely on mutual understanding. They have to trust each other. Any baseless suspicion against each other would mar the relations of the husband and wife.  A Hadith says: “One Bedouin came to the court of the Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam and said, ‘O Allah’s Apostle SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, my wife has delivered a child who is dark complexioned and does not resemble me. I am sure it is not my child’. The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said, ‘Do you have some camels?’ He said, ‘Yes, I have many camels’.  The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam asked, ‘What is the colour of those camels?’ He said, ‘They are brown’. The Prophet of Islam SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam asked, ‘Are there some grey camels among them?’ He said, ‘Yes, a few of them are grey’. The Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said, ‘Tell me how those brown camels gave birth to these grey camels?’ He said, ‘Some camel among the ancestors of my brown camels would have been of grey colour and these grey camels might have taken their origin from that particular camel.’ The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said, ‘Similarly, it is possible that anyone among your ancestors would have been of black complexion and your child might have inherited his genetic influence.’”
If there is some difference of opinion between the husband and wife, the husband should not make a hurry to pronounce divorce to her.  He should exercise restraint. After his anger subsides, he should ponder over the entire matter with a cool mind. He may seek the advice of his elders in this matter and decide whether or not there is a chance of reconciliation and settlement. If a point of understanding and reconciliation emerges, he should act accordingly and refrain from breaking the wedlock. The Beloved Habeeb SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said that the divorce is the most disliked things among the permissible things in the sight of Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala.
If a man possesses more than one wife, it is obligatory on him to do justice with them. There should be equal treatment among wives in respect of sustenance, living conditions and personal attention. He has to spend equal time with every one of them. The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said that if a man has two wives and does not treat them equally, he would be raised on the Day of Judgment with half his body paralysed.
If the husband faces some trouble because of the misbehaviour of his wife, he should try to avoid her and keep patience. Woman’s arrogance and foolishness is a natural phenomenon. The Glorious Prophet of Islam SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: “Woman has been created from the bent rib of Adam Alaihis Salam. If somebody tries to make the bent bone straight, it will rather break instead of becoming straight”. Similarly, if someone tries to set his wife right, there will be more a chance of separation instead of improvement in her nature.
The husband should not behave as a miser in meeting the materialistic requirements of his wife nor should he go for extravagance in her maintenance. He should define his expenditure as per his capacity.
The husband should not confine his wife within the four walls of his house. She should be taken to her parents and relatives from time to time provided these visits do not bring any trouble to the peace of his house.
Fair treatment
To forgive each other’s small mistakes.
To provide emotional support in both happiness and sadness
To offer each other wholesome advice concerning obedience to Allah.
To keep each other’s secrets. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says: “The people of the worst stature with Allah on the Day of Judgment are men who confide in their wives, and wives who confide in their husbands, and then they spread each other’s secrets around.” [Sahîh Muslim]
To pay a dower. This is a right which precedes the contract. It is a symbol of honoring the woman and it is not permissible to neglect it until after the contract.